Helas.
First of all: How is you?

Now.
Over two weeks have passed since I went to the fulltime clinic.
I'm getting the Saturday and Sundays off, having to be back at 9 anyways, not allowed to sleep at home yet.
I fucked off a few days ago, slept home but got convinced to join their asylum again the day after. God damn Brainwashing.
Today is Sunday. Sundays are bad. I always detested them.
I didn't do a structure for the day, as I was supposed to, either because Sundays are unpredictable and today is bad, like bad. So just let me live.

19 days.. 19 days.. I don't know where I'm at.
My heart is empty, as is my soul. I'm filled with a mixture of the will to become good/cured while being full of all evil I consumed over the years, steadily growing. I can still feel the ticking inside my head, and that mothafuggin bomb is gonna splatter my head into pieces fosho'. I have my doubts of all of this coming to a happy end.
I'm not made for that. and I don't want that.
I'm curing my depressions, yes. but no, I'm not changing. I'm not becoming good. Blood must flow.
My potential is becoming dangerous. It's humongous.
I'm not gonna leave clinic untill I have complete control over what I possess. This is a one time chance, not to make up for my mistakes, but to build up on them.

You can feel the hate filling my heart, yes?
Sane or not, right or wrong, irresponsibility is not a matter no more. I can build up on what I am. This is not about becoming good.

I'm playing along their shitty games. but I'm just patiently enduring and waiting for my time to come.
You'll see me rushing through the god damn glass door the moment I can finally feel through my whole body what has been hidden inside my mind for so long.

Why yes, I am changing. but for good? HA, what for?
No. I am gonna become a better someone, yes. but I won't join the lousy norm. That's just not my goal. No more.
Blood must flow.

This is a threat, yes.
Take my warning serious. Don't expect to get harmed by me, this is not my intention. I have bigger actions planned.

Your question:
Will I make animations and art again?
The chances stand alright, though I do not care much about art no more. But I won't keep my hand still no more.. soon.
I'm someone that has to produce, for too long I was unable to do so, and it harmed me. The defects holding me back are getting rid off. I'll use this goddamn creativity and potential in all it's glory.
And yes, that does mean I'll return to the business at some point of time. But there will be changes.

I won't be the same no more.
I'll be bigger. A standalone being. A cruel fighter with no sense of moral. I am a threat to everyone else and I'm loving it. And I'm working hard on it. I have no love no more, it has been taken away from me. So what do you do to get over it?
You hate.
And I can hate just as much as I loved. Even more.
You may watch and enjoy the process of all this. I can promise the audience getting much more out of this then when I've been in the slavery called love.

I'm still caged, but I know where the key is now. and I'm digging through my skull to get to it. Things are changing.
Something is happening.

And it ain't the way anyone would want things to turn out.
But me.


LOL GOD COMPLEX?

I swear I'm becoming more insane in there than outside.

Also:
Today the true war on Scientology begins.
I have high doubts in the chances that this will remain a peaceful protest. Too many monsters among us.
The time has come to make a move and I can see some using up their fully grown evil potential to the max just for this real-life act.


They better pull off something epic. Nobody needs random /b/tards shouting memes through a crowd. I beg to differ this will be in any successful buttt ahhh well, freedom of whatever.
Better not make it a failget.


So this is a journal. You think you're up to date now but you know oh so little of what's truly happening.

But after all the hate, I still love you.
And rly.. It only began. This is just an inbetween post.

Chillout. Keep it coo'.
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Now playing: Yael Naïm - New Soul
via FoxyTunes